"Normal"

Seven years ago, when Eve was a baby, we had lots of ups and downs. One of our lowest came when she was about 4 months old. She caught a cold. No big deal for most babies, but huge for Evie. I remember sitting with her in the ER on a Monday night, and the doctor telling me, "She has a cold. Babies get them. Go home." She was nice, but condescending. The next morning at a follow up visit with our pediatrician, she turned blue. We left there in a helicopter and spent the following month in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, with a lovely private room, our own personal nurse, a team of doctors who would listen and ask if she always sounded like that (what a cough!!!) and a great view of the princess tower. ;)

During the time Eve was in the hospital, many of the days felt like life and death at any time... she had a machine breathing for her and day by day was getting weaker not stronger. I remember coming home one night while Dave stayed with her for the evening. I did laundry and cleaned the toilets and tucked sweet Michael and precious Janey into bed. Normal. On my way back to the hospital I stopped at the store and bought milk and macaroni and cheese. Normal. As I stood in the line I thought, "I haven't held my baby in weeks, she could die. A machine is breathing for her. My arms ache for her and I'm tired of pumping. I want to hold her. I want normal life again" I wondered how many people in the store that night had big huge things going on in their lives, but had to keep going with the "normal" stuff. It was hard, but Eve is strong and God has a plan for her. We were so blessed at that time to have so many friends and family reach out and carry us through those tough days.

Today we had a joyful playdate with Samuel, Levi and their Dad. I can pronounce his name, but I wont' attempt to spell it. They are visiting their Grandma from NYC, she is a friend of ours and is dying. They came to play, to burn off some energy, get a change of scenery.... and hopefully have some fun during these difficult days. As I dropped them off on our way to swim club after we played for a few hours, I noticed in front of their house the cast off Christmas tree. Normal. I was struck with the thought of how NOT normal the goings- on in that house are... hospice in and out, a hospital bed in the bedroom, medicines and schedules and crying and planning.... It occurred to me how little we know about anything. Anyone driving by that house would think "Life is fine, normal." Anyone seeing me buying milk at the market 7 years ago would have thought "life is fine, normal". We just don't know! I often think that... when standing in a line or watching someone who doesn't seem to be coping very well, I think, "I wonder what else is going on that we just don't see."

Tonight we roasted marshmallows over the fire for Family Home Evening snack. It was fun and normal. But my thoughts were with others. My sweet Uncle Bud is nearing the end of his 9 year battle with cancer. It is my prayer that someone somewhere in Idaho and Utah recognizes how not "normal" life is for his precious family and reaches out to them. I wish I were there to do it.