Intrinsic Motivation

When Dave and I were first married I felt like I had a lot of bad habits... well, I still do (just by my introspective nature ... not from anything Dave said). But one of them I have really worked on. I used to be in the habit of asking Dave to do things he would have naturally done without my asking, "Please take out the trash, Will you put gas in the car, Would you change Michael's diaper...."

One day he mentioned to me how not giving him a chance to do it on his own first seemed to him to presume that otherwise he wouldn't have done them, when in truth he hoped such things could be an opportunity to quietly express his love. By not first giving him a chance to do it on his own he was afraid he took on the appearance of being a deadbeat hubby who must be told what to do. I understood him then and have always tried to give him time to be nice to me rather than instructing him on what to do.

FF 14 years. At the end of August I made a goal for myself. Something I wanted to do by the first of October. This goal would strengthen me, prepare me to receive answers I need, soften my heart and open my mind. Lofty? not really. I know where to look for help when I need it. I began my process, feeling great about it... Then! Along comes a very unsuspecting good-doer. Encouraging all within her voice to do exactly what I had set out to do, come to her for rewards (I'm guessing chocolate.)

I'm so bummed!

I've continued to work towards my goal. I feel enriched. I feel open to answers. I feel slightly annoyed that my intrinsic motivation to do the right thing might have turned into doing it for extrinsic motivation aka: chocolate and a pat on the back.

I've decided I'm not going to tell. It is my little secret that I did what I did. I might be a little fiesty! Maybe Lily comes by it naturally! I have to admit though, I feel like in not reporting what I've accomplished, I go off as looking like a slacker. Good thing I'm working hard on not caring what others think. (remember, Perfect September.)

But now I understand even better how Dave felt when I asked him to do the "right thing" when he was already doing it.

*disclaimer: I'm not annoyed with the good do-er. She is doing good! Her idea is so great that I had it before she did! ;) I appreciate her desire for others to do their best and be their best. Oh, and the do-gooder brought me an apple pie yesterday, she really is good! (so was the pie!)

And the rains came 'a tumbling down...

“Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—

“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.

“And every one that heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand—

“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell, and great was the fall of it” (3 Nephi 14:24–27).

It is interesting to notice that the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew against both houses! Living the gospel does not mean that we will everlastingly escape adversity. Rather, it means that we will be prepared to face and endure adversity more confidently.--Elder Rafael E. Pino

I'm glad we built on the rock.

Man Alive I love this kid.

Henry is about 4 weeks away from 2. He is acting closer than that.... Last week I nearly lost my marbles with velcro-boy (as in, stuck to me like velcro.) This week I'm back to my cheerful self. Drinking my lemonade, you know the old saying.

Here is a dose of why I love him so!

He is a hat boy. He puts that hat on at 7:00 a.m. He has skills too, the way he slides it on is awesome! (Just like a big boy, one handed even!)

He calls the nursery at church "TRUCK". As soon as we say "amen" in the chapel he is dragging us down the hall saying "Truck!" When you ask if he had fun in nursery he says "Truck!"

Yesterday I stepped on a toy in the family room. I squealed "Ouch!" and hopped around on one foot. He thought it was the funniest thing in.the.world. His laugh is awesome. I hopped around forever just to hear him. A few hours later he dragged me by the fingers back into the family room and grabbed his foot and yelped "Ouch!". Then fell over laughing. We played Mommy-gets-hurt for another half an hour.

Today Dave told him to not bang his toy on something-- he looked at Dave and said "Shh!"

He looks at the other kids like they hung the moon. Pure adoration. He is saying Evie clearly and the other kids are just waiting till he calls their name.

He is starting to sing along. So charming!

He runs to the door and says "Chi! Wee!" That means, lets go outside and swing!

His "Yethsssssssss" is more frequent than his "no". He always answers Yethssss!

He has this scowl where he scrunches up his face, puckers his lips and looks up at his eyebrows, it makes me laugh!

Sometimes he drags me into watch Max and Ruby with him. I love to watch him watch because he laughs at all the funny parts. :) He also wants me to keep my hands around his tummy. If I move them he grabs them and places them back on his belly.

He is a total cuddler. Kissy and Lovey and Huggy. Wonderful.

They must have heard about my Perfect September...

We laughed. Hard. We love junk mail.

Here's what we did in the summertime,,,.

Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you eat meals outside and catch fireflies and read every book you could see? Is that what you did? So did we.



Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you swing high in Dad's swing or swim till you hair turned green or play on a sandy beach? Is that what you did? So did we.

Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you learn to ride bikes or even a trike or cut down the branch of a tree? is that what you did? So did we.





Dang! Technical difficulties. Don't give up on me!
Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you serve one another and make homemade butter and catch all the frogs in the yard? Is that what you did? It was hard! (the frog catching part...)

Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you make crowns from trees, wear socks once a week (to church), or slurp a freezer pop on the deck? Is that what you did? Oh my heck! (loosing my edge here...)


Summer is glorious. We enjoyed it.

I have to say though, that feeling in the air at night when it cools off... I'm ready to move to the next season!