Intrinsic Motivation

When Dave and I were first married I felt like I had a lot of bad habits... well, I still do (just by my introspective nature ... not from anything Dave said). But one of them I have really worked on. I used to be in the habit of asking Dave to do things he would have naturally done without my asking, "Please take out the trash, Will you put gas in the car, Would you change Michael's diaper...."

One day he mentioned to me how not giving him a chance to do it on his own first seemed to him to presume that otherwise he wouldn't have done them, when in truth he hoped such things could be an opportunity to quietly express his love. By not first giving him a chance to do it on his own he was afraid he took on the appearance of being a deadbeat hubby who must be told what to do. I understood him then and have always tried to give him time to be nice to me rather than instructing him on what to do.

FF 14 years. At the end of August I made a goal for myself. Something I wanted to do by the first of October. This goal would strengthen me, prepare me to receive answers I need, soften my heart and open my mind. Lofty? not really. I know where to look for help when I need it. I began my process, feeling great about it... Then! Along comes a very unsuspecting good-doer. Encouraging all within her voice to do exactly what I had set out to do, come to her for rewards (I'm guessing chocolate.)

I'm so bummed!

I've continued to work towards my goal. I feel enriched. I feel open to answers. I feel slightly annoyed that my intrinsic motivation to do the right thing might have turned into doing it for extrinsic motivation aka: chocolate and a pat on the back.

I've decided I'm not going to tell. It is my little secret that I did what I did. I might be a little fiesty! Maybe Lily comes by it naturally! I have to admit though, I feel like in not reporting what I've accomplished, I go off as looking like a slacker. Good thing I'm working hard on not caring what others think. (remember, Perfect September.)

But now I understand even better how Dave felt when I asked him to do the "right thing" when he was already doing it.

*disclaimer: I'm not annoyed with the good do-er. She is doing good! Her idea is so great that I had it before she did! ;) I appreciate her desire for others to do their best and be their best. Oh, and the do-gooder brought me an apple pie yesterday, she really is good! (so was the pie!)

And the rains came 'a tumbling down...

“Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—

“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.

“And every one that heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand—

“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell, and great was the fall of it” (3 Nephi 14:24–27).

It is interesting to notice that the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew against both houses! Living the gospel does not mean that we will everlastingly escape adversity. Rather, it means that we will be prepared to face and endure adversity more confidently.--Elder Rafael E. Pino

I'm glad we built on the rock.

Man Alive I love this kid.

Henry is about 4 weeks away from 2. He is acting closer than that.... Last week I nearly lost my marbles with velcro-boy (as in, stuck to me like velcro.) This week I'm back to my cheerful self. Drinking my lemonade, you know the old saying.

Here is a dose of why I love him so!

He is a hat boy. He puts that hat on at 7:00 a.m. He has skills too, the way he slides it on is awesome! (Just like a big boy, one handed even!)

He calls the nursery at church "TRUCK". As soon as we say "amen" in the chapel he is dragging us down the hall saying "Truck!" When you ask if he had fun in nursery he says "Truck!"

Yesterday I stepped on a toy in the family room. I squealed "Ouch!" and hopped around on one foot. He thought it was the funniest thing in.the.world. His laugh is awesome. I hopped around forever just to hear him. A few hours later he dragged me by the fingers back into the family room and grabbed his foot and yelped "Ouch!". Then fell over laughing. We played Mommy-gets-hurt for another half an hour.

Today Dave told him to not bang his toy on something-- he looked at Dave and said "Shh!"

He looks at the other kids like they hung the moon. Pure adoration. He is saying Evie clearly and the other kids are just waiting till he calls their name.

He is starting to sing along. So charming!

He runs to the door and says "Chi! Wee!" That means, lets go outside and swing!

His "Yethsssssssss" is more frequent than his "no". He always answers Yethssss!

He has this scowl where he scrunches up his face, puckers his lips and looks up at his eyebrows, it makes me laugh!

Sometimes he drags me into watch Max and Ruby with him. I love to watch him watch because he laughs at all the funny parts. :) He also wants me to keep my hands around his tummy. If I move them he grabs them and places them back on his belly.

He is a total cuddler. Kissy and Lovey and Huggy. Wonderful.

They must have heard about my Perfect September...

We laughed. Hard. We love junk mail.

Here's what we did in the summertime,,,.

Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you eat meals outside and catch fireflies and read every book you could see? Is that what you did? So did we.



Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you swing high in Dad's swing or swim till you hair turned green or play on a sandy beach? Is that what you did? So did we.

Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you learn to ride bikes or even a trike or cut down the branch of a tree? is that what you did? So did we.





Dang! Technical difficulties. Don't give up on me!
Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you serve one another and make homemade butter and catch all the frogs in the yard? Is that what you did? It was hard! (the frog catching part...)

Oh what did you do in the summer time when all the world was green? Did you make crowns from trees, wear socks once a week (to church), or slurp a freezer pop on the deck? Is that what you did? Oh my heck! (loosing my edge here...)


Summer is glorious. We enjoyed it.

I have to say though, that feeling in the air at night when it cools off... I'm ready to move to the next season!

In September I'll be perfect...

Do you ever feel like you keep making the same goals over and over again?

I do.

I'm pretty sure when my January resolutions gave way to my Fresh start February which turned into my March Makeover then onto my Awesome Attitude April and my Maybe in May... you get the idea.... I am pretty sure when I did all those months I was going to:

• set better routines
• develop self control

Pardon me while I pick myself up off the floor from laughing so hard at that one.

• eat more veggies
• exercise
• devote more time to scripture study and service and less to surfing random strangers blogs... (getting better at this one!)

Anyway, here it is September tomorrow and I've decided to be Perfect in September. I'm going to do all those things I've not had the self discipline to do. I'll try it for a month and see how it works. We are going to do Family Scripture Study every morning, I'm going to exercise, we are going to have awesome routines for cheerful schoolday mornings and peaceful homework/make dinnertimes (well planned and loaded with veggies mind you...). I'm going to do it all. Meaningful prayers, go to bed early, make healthy breakfast, eliminate anything white or artificial in our diet, use my food storage, drop off casseroles, babysit random children, spread the Good Word, Redeem the Dead!!! (maybe I'm feeling a bit inadequate... if you aren't LDS and this makes no sense go here for an explanation)

I'm ready for October are you?

In all seriousness here is my SuperStart in September theme:
Treasure the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less. -Anna Quindlen

and

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. -Anna Quindlen

Adios August, watch out September!

School Shoes.

I love shoes. I always have. Mom says that when I was little and got lost in the store she didn't go looking for me in the toy section, she went straight to the shoes.

A major perk of having 3 daughters is the shoes. Pink Mary Janes, Pink sneakers, Black shiny ballet flats, Zebra print shoes, Glittery Silver shoes, Red Mary Janes, patent leather in all its' varieties! What a treat to shop in the girls shoes section! (or even in the shoe tub in the basement, I think I have pink t-straps in 4 sizes!)

Last fall though, we hit a snag. Eve needed new sneakers for school. We hunted high and low and couldn't find her size! She tried on all manner of glittery, beaded, pink, slip on, open-toed fun shoes, but what she needed was something to wear for P.E. We found ourselves in K-Mart and she picked a lovely pair of velcro Little Mermaid Shoes. She thought they were the prettiest shoes she'd ever seen. (ugly.) But, alas, there were none her size. She looked up at me and said, "But mom, if they did have my size, could I have them?" Slam dunk I thought! "You bet honey, but they don't have your size."

You guessed it, we turned the corner and sitting on the top of a shelf was a glorious box of Velcro Ariel shoes in her exact size!

Man was she a happy girl all year long in those sneakers. Her feet have grown and she needed new shoes again this fall. Thank goodness her taste has changed.

Twas the night before school...

and all through the house, not a child was sleeping not even the mouse. (actually, no, I think we got rid of him.)

The backpacks were waiting right by the front door, only thing missing- dry erase markers, I need 3 more.

The children were bathed, the clothes all set out, Michael a 5th grader with lots of clout.

Eve onto first grade, a desk by herself, and books and blocks all sitting nearby on a shelf.

Father's blessings were given, the prayers were all heard, Michael feels excited and happy and not at all absurd.

They'll learn quite a lot, and have plenty of fun, the lunches and homework have just begun.

They'll be good examples and make lots of friends, and before we know it it'll be summer again.


Ok, so I lost my edge after the first stanza.... It is going to be a great school year. Eve's teacher is a wonderful lady and her classroom has one red brick wall with fresh black chalkboards and twinkly white lights... ahh so traditionally schoolish! I love the smell of schools in September.

Spoiled.

This summer I decided to indulge myself. I knew we wouldn't be taking any grand vacations (our beach trip was a delightful last minute treat from Linda!) and I wanted summer to feel like a treat-- even though there was bound to be dishes, laundry and life to keep up with.

So I read! I just let myself jump into books! What a treat! I'm going to have to put the brakes on now that we are back in school mode. I don't function all that well when I'm in the middle of a book-- well, unless you call "cold cereal for dinner because mom is reading" functioning....
Titles:

• The Giant Joshua, re-read because I love this book and love the strength of the characters.
• Harry Potter 1-7, I'm glad I read them, it was fun because Michael and I read them at the same time. I had thought we might go see movie #6 in the theater, but after renting #5 I'm thinking no. We'll wait for it to come out on DVD. I still can't figure out how Dumbledore's orientation plays into anything. Color me confused.
  
• So You Want to Raise a Boy, always a great read. I love how well the author of this book knows boys, it helps me realize what is going on in Michael and Henry's head. Raising boys is so good.
  
• Jane Austen, can you go wrong? I keep this in the car for when I have a 45 minute piano lesson to sit through. Plus, with a Jane Austin of my own...
  
• What to Learn Each Year, or something like that... I liked this one, it made me feel excited about learning with Jane this year!
• Guiltfree Motherhood-- after spending all summer reading this was a nice relief from the guilt I was feeling! Honestly though, a great book.
  
• Fire of the Covenant, Perfect book to read the week your hot water heater breaks. Seriously. Boiling water on the stove to wash dishes in the sink felt absolutely luxurious compared to the Willey-Martin handcart companies. I think Dave was glad I was reading this too. Cold shower? No problemo! At least I'm not wading through a frozen river wtih my 17 lbs worth of posessions on 4 oz of flour a day... (btw, amazing Dave fixed the water heater. he can do ANYTHING!)
• The Well Trained Mind, another book to motivate me to plan well and Learn with Jane.
• C-Jane Enjoy it! Blogger c-jane, cheerful insightful, fun to read. (thanks for loaning it Maren and again, so sorry it got water logged.) (Reminder to self, never borrow signed copies of books that you can't replace if the cover gets slightly damp from a kids wet swim towel....)
  
• The Thomas Jefferson Education-- this book gave me a list of classics to read and re-read! I really love the authors philosophy.

I'd love to know what you've read this summer! Please, I promise to control myself and still make dinner for my family. ;)

It is a good life.

Henry is just such a happy mellow guy (most of the time...) I watch this and I want to run and squeeze him! Amy's blog is Dancing in the Kitchen, I think that is a great name for a blog! We love dancing in the kitchen, or anywhere else for that matter!